I always approach Christmas thinking I won’t get sucked in. As autumn starts and the first mince pies hit the shelves (September!) I remind myself that Christmas doesn’t have to be stressful this year. That I don’t have to do all the things the TV adverts tell me to do, or buy. And, it certainly doesn’t have to be me doing everything. There are other humans in my household equally capable of planning, shopping, wrapping and cooking. Somehow it doesn’t ever work out like that though. I tend to be Mother Christmas, and I’m going to be honest that I grit my teeth through some of it.
As autumn deepens I’m returning to Christmas thoughts with a renewed determination. We’re far enough away from the Big Day for me to approach it differently this year. These are the four things I plan to change to take the stress out of Christmas:
1. Delegate
The emotional and domestic burden of Christmas on women is huge. Of course, it varies from household to household. But, in my decades of working with women and mothers, I’ve found a strong trend for it to be us that takes on the Christmas juggernaut. Whether it’s writing and sending Christmas cards and presents to our partner’s families as well as our own, sorting out all the festive activities at school or planning a week’s worth of festive food, the burden usually falls to the women.
This year I invite you to be firmer about delegating. You are a unique and wonderful person, but you are not uniquely skilled in wrapping gifts or writing cards. Managing what needs to be done is a job in itself, and shouldn’t be down to you either! But if you end up being the brains of the operation, make sure you have others doing some of the work. This is not the time to tolerate learned incompetence (read more about that here!)
2. Factor myself in
This year I plan to take time for myself in the build up to Christmas. We are so used to it being a frenzy of activity and rushing around. But that wasn’t supposed to be the purpose of the season. Midwinter festivals, Christmas included, are supposed to include time to rest. And not just rest as a result of overindulging and not being able to move for three days after the big feast.
What if Christmas could be calm this year? Before as well as after 25 December? What if I could protect time for myself in the weeks before Christmas by booking myself in for a massage? What if you could too?
Thinking about it tactically, I know this is a productive use of my time too! I think more clearly and get things done more efficiently after taking time for myself. Massage allows our bodies to relax. It promotes the production of endorphins, serotonin and dopamine which means we relax at a physiological level. And we are all much more effective at operating from a relaxed rather than stressed state.
3. Don’t buy needless gifts
This No-vember I am saying no to needless gifts. I encourage you to contact friends and family who you’ve always exchanged gifts with simply out of habit, and suggest an alternative.
You might mutually decide to stop. Or to substitute your gift giving for dinner and a catch up together in the new year. You’re likely to be surprised by what a welcome suggestion this is for others as well as you!
4. Choose experiences over stuff
Most of us have too much stuff. And it seems obvious, but when we buy things for people they need to be housed. So unless the items are something that’s wanted, we are creating work for the recipients of our gifts. Not to mention the environmental cost of producing and transporting the stuff.
Giving people an experience-based gift means you are giving them something life-enhancing, rather than a storage problem. Of course, I’m going to suggest you buy a massage for friends and family (more on that in a moment), but experiences can be anything: from cafe vouchers to trying a new skill. And if you are supporting ethically-minded small businesses you can be confident your money is helping people too.
A massage is the perfect gift for the stressed-out mother. Even better if you can offer childcare to facilitate her getting away for an hour. My treatment room is very easy to reach by car or bus, and is the perfect sanctuary for someone needing a little restoration.
Pregnant women and new mothers in particular will thank you for gifting them a little time on the massage couch. As well as being the ultimate in relaxation, massage will help to soothe and heal pregnant and post-partum bodies. You can read more about the benefits of massage here.
I offer gift vouchers, for individual massages or packages. And I have some availability in the build up to Christmas, as well as in the new year. Just call or email me and we’ll get your calmer Christmas sorted.
As autumn deepens I’m returning to Christmas thoughts with a renewed determination. We’re far enough away from the Big Day for me to approach it differently this year. These are the four things I plan to change to take the stress out of Christmas:
1. Delegate
The emotional and domestic burden of Christmas on women is huge. Of course, it varies from household to household. But, in my decades of working with women and mothers, I’ve found a strong trend for it to be us that takes on the Christmas juggernaut. Whether it’s writing and sending Christmas cards and presents to our partner’s families as well as our own, sorting out all the festive activities at school or planning a week’s worth of festive food, the burden usually falls to the women.
This year I invite you to be firmer about delegating. You are a unique and wonderful person, but you are not uniquely skilled in wrapping gifts or writing cards. Managing what needs to be done is a job in itself, and shouldn’t be down to you either! But if you end up being the brains of the operation, make sure you have others doing some of the work. This is not the time to tolerate learned incompetence (read more about that here!)
2. Factor myself in
This year I plan to take time for myself in the build up to Christmas. We are so used to it being a frenzy of activity and rushing around. But that wasn’t supposed to be the purpose of the season. Midwinter festivals, Christmas included, are supposed to include time to rest. And not just rest as a result of overindulging and not being able to move for three days after the big feast.
What if Christmas could be calm this year? Before as well as after 25 December? What if I could protect time for myself in the weeks before Christmas by booking myself in for a massage? What if you could too?
Thinking about it tactically, I know this is a productive use of my time too! I think more clearly and get things done more efficiently after taking time for myself. Massage allows our bodies to relax. It promotes the production of endorphins, serotonin and dopamine which means we relax at a physiological level. And we are all much more effective at operating from a relaxed rather than stressed state.
3. Don’t buy needless gifts
This No-vember I am saying no to needless gifts. I encourage you to contact friends and family who you’ve always exchanged gifts with simply out of habit, and suggest an alternative.
You might mutually decide to stop. Or to substitute your gift giving for dinner and a catch up together in the new year. You’re likely to be surprised by what a welcome suggestion this is for others as well as you!
4. Choose experiences over stuff
Most of us have too much stuff. And it seems obvious, but when we buy things for people they need to be housed. So unless the items are something that’s wanted, we are creating work for the recipients of our gifts. Not to mention the environmental cost of producing and transporting the stuff.
Giving people an experience-based gift means you are giving them something life-enhancing, rather than a storage problem. Of course, I’m going to suggest you buy a massage for friends and family (more on that in a moment), but experiences can be anything: from cafe vouchers to trying a new skill. And if you are supporting ethically-minded small businesses you can be confident your money is helping people too.
A massage is the perfect gift for the stressed-out mother. Even better if you can offer childcare to facilitate her getting away for an hour. My treatment room is very easy to reach by car or bus, and is the perfect sanctuary for someone needing a little restoration.
Pregnant women and new mothers in particular will thank you for gifting them a little time on the massage couch. As well as being the ultimate in relaxation, massage will help to soothe and heal pregnant and post-partum bodies. You can read more about the benefits of massage here.
I offer gift vouchers, for individual massages or packages. And I have some availability in the build up to Christmas, as well as in the new year. Just call or email me and we’ll get your calmer Christmas sorted.
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